The Inner Sanctum
Well, if you are reading this then you are in "The Inner Sanctum".
You have heard me say "I'm writing a book" and you thought you might participate in it with me. Or maybe you 'weren't up to that bit' and you're just jumping back in now and exploring where you are in this point and time.
(Ok, I'm hoping that just got rid of anyone who actually has not been personally invited into this space with me. For my loving subscribers who by paying me through their donation, are holding space for me to do what I am doing.
This may not make sense to you right now, but it's something that comes up in my writing a lot!
And the mechanism of the jumping amongst thoughts, of the voices from within that then say, you can't think that, and if you do think that then you certainly cannot say that, because you are rotten.
And that is a human experience. That is something we all go through, the jumping of how we feel in our body, to what we are thinking, to what we are feeling, the brain and the body with no barriers. That's what living is at a cellular level.
So this is where you start on this journey with me.
It's a lot. I'm life, living a life and I'm reflecting on it from a psychodynamic point of view, and I'm writing about it. And gosh it makes me feel good!
It's the most amazing thing I have ever done.
As I journey, I shall blog. I will publish the here and now of my here and now. Basically I am living in real time, writing in real time at the same time. Yes, you can read that a few times, I'm sure I'll find better ways of expressing it as I develop my writing.
Sometimes you may not to know what to do with all of this, how to process everything as you are reading it. Well, that's how I feel. This is the feeling of "not getting it". This is the feeling of 'not getting it', that's the words I have used to desribe the feeling in my body. I feel disheartened, I feel deflated, I feel like it is not what I need (mind you, I don't know what I need, but it feels like it's definitely not this).
So I write about my experience of my feelings in GREAT detail. As if I am documenting them scientifically. That's because I am. The science will come in and out of this whole thing, meandering through like a river. And when this gets closer to being a book about the Integrated Healing Method there will probably be lots more science in there and probably a lot less of me. Who knows, I'm not in that future yet. I am here right now. And as I am documenting my real, raw, open experience with 'no holds barred'. Because I have learned the feeling of this, how fantastic it is, how expanded, elated, relaxed, present and satisfied it is.
And it is so much BETTER than feeling like I'm "not getting it". That's why I have stuck with this. That's why I am doing this like I am doing it. It's the only true medicine that I know is guaranteed to work inside my body.
Thank you for being here.
We are in for quite the experience together.
As you stumble down into the Inner Sanctum. I picture it a bit like Alice going down a rabbit hole actually, hence the art on this page.
Here's your next breadcrumb if you wish to come further into the journey with me at a deeper level.